Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners. Taking that note, I always ask myself how to raise a boy with such manners? I am a mother of 3 boys and raising them is never easy at all. I am going through hell just to keep my kids out from the world full of temptations and undesirable circumstances. But I am managing to raise them and instill in their innocent minds that life is being measured not with how much wealth a person is able to accumulate but rather with how a man lives harmoniously in the society.
And in the hustle and bustle of daily life, busy moms and dads don’t always have the time to focus on etiquette and manners. There are few of them that do not and did not even have the luxury of time to spend with their kids and just teach them the norms of this living world. Discipline should start at home. Teach your kids especially with your boys that behaving politely is a way of life. Good manners are a good habit. Kids who aren’t taught social graces from an early age are at a distinct disadvantage. An ill-mannered child is a turn-off to adults and kids alike; while children aren’t likely to be offended by a playmate who neglects to say “excuse me,” or “please”, they don’t relish the company of a child who doesn’t know how to share or take turns.
By that, I believe that raising a boy or your kids with manners will help them in coming up with how drastic the environment we live in changes from one era to another. Make your kids see how they behave affects the people around them. Teach them the golden rule: “Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you”. It’s the best way for them to live at peace.
Acquiring good manners takes lots of practice and reinforcement, so make sure that you, your partner, and your caregiver are encouraging and discouraging the same behaviors. Always have the authority to tell them what is good to do and not good to do.
Here are a few manners kids should know by the age of 12.
When you ask for something say “please” or “may I”
When you receive something always say “thank you”.
When grown-ups are talking never interrupt. If what you need to say is important and you need to get the grown-ups attention right away say “excuse me”.
If you have nothing nice to say it’s best to say nothing at all. (keep your negative opinions to yourself)
Never comment on a persons’ appearance (physical or mental) in a negative way. (Again keep your comments to yourself.)
Table Manners (May I be excused, Blessing before you eat, napkin in the lap, chew with your mouth closed, don’t talk with food in your mouth, use your napkin to wipe your mouth.)
Open doors for adults, elderly, women, girls. (Rule applies to boys mostly.)
Yes Sir, No Sir, Yes Ma’am, No Ma’am
When a door is closed, knock before entering.
When you sneeze, cough or burp – cover your mouth/nose.
When you see someone struggling to do something ask if they need help.
When you play with something, put it back when you are done.
Help set the dinner table.
Always ask for permission before doing something.
These are just a few that come to mind when thinking what manners I want to instill in my children before they reach the age of 12. Raising a boy who learns the manners above is on his way to growing up to be a gentleman. Others may mention the noises boys love to make. Of course, there is a time and place for those, but sometimes boys need reminding.
Do you know of a manner that you use that wasn’t mentioned above? Please let us know.
When you become a mom bonding with them is sometimes natural. The feeling your heart feels is like a feeling you’ve never felt before. You thought to fall in love with a spouse or significant other was overwhelming but you have no idea until you meet your little one for the very first time. The feeling is indescribable. You will protect him or her from anyone or anything that may want to harm or misguide them. Sometimes life gets in the way and we lose track of bonding with him because we are too focused on the distractions around us. Today, I wanted to share 10 ways you can bond with your son that I think you will enjoy as well as them.
1. Reading – Having a special reading time together. This could be 15 minutes or more a day or pick one day a week that you will devote that time to just him. Let him read to you or if younger you read to him.
2. Coloring – Coloring for younger kids can be fun and relaxing for you. Just to take a few minutes or more to color a picture together or draw together.
3. Movie Time – Let him pick a movie and have a movie afternoon or night, possibly on the weekend just for you and him. Talk about the movie afterward if he’s old enough.
4. In the Kitchen – Boys love to see mom in the kitchen making goodies, lunch or dinner and sometimes want to pitch in. Create a fun dish together, bake cookies, cupcakes, cake and let them decorate it.
6. Build a Fort – This is one of my favorites that requires little effort but much fun. Building a fort in the house is super fun and easy. Grab some blankets, chairs, pillows and get to building your fort. This could be a hiding place for him, a place he can read books, or just talk and play with toys.
7. Talk – There is nothing a child loves to do more than talk. It seems they are full of millions of questions and before you can answer one he is asking you another.
8. Outdoors – There is nothing more a boy likes than to spend some time outdoors. It could be playing in the dirt, bird watching, going on a nature walk, blowing bubbles, swinging, playing hide and seek. There is so much you can do outside.
9. Teach him something New – Boys have curious little minds. They love to see how things work and love to ask you why. Take the time and teach him something new.
10. Mother & Son Date – This could be a road trip, ice cream, movies, miniature golf, go-carts, library, Fire Station, Police Station, a trip to the pet store.
These are just 10 ideas that I came up with but the options are unlimited on ways you can spend time with your son and bond with him. The most important things to remember is one on one time, and making it all about him. Let him take the lead if old enough to pick the place or thing he wants to do with you. Maybe he wants to show you something new or something that is really cool to him. Just remember to take time to avoid distractions, cell phone, house phone, or other interruptions that can easily distract you and him from bonding.
If you have some ideas that you love doing with your son I would love to hear them. Just comment below and share your ideas.
If you are reading this it’s probably because you are curious, worried, and scared about what your son may be experiencing or will experience. Where did our baby boys go? Our boys are facing so many changes to their bodies and as moms, we don’t know exactly what they are going through.
I have also rounded up some of the most popular books on Puberty for boys that you and he can read, to get a better understanding about Puberty.
If you’re a parent of a boy, whether you like it or not, he is going to someday reach puberty.
If you’re a mom, you might be feeling a little bit out of depth. Aren’t we all? Sure, you went through puberty yourself, so you know what it is like for girls. But how different is it for boys? What changes will happen to them? Is it okay for a mom to talk to her son about erections and wet dreams? Or should this be his dad’s job?
This article will give you a quick guided tour through puberty! It will let you know what puberty is all about, why it happens when it will happen, what to expect and what to talk about. Plus you’ll know where to find the best books on puberty!
A Mom’s Guide to Puberty for Boys
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So what is Puberty and why does it happen?
Puberty is when your son will start to change from being a child to an adult. Which means that his body will slowly start to change or grow up. And it isn’t just physical changes that will be happening to him. His relationships with his family, friends, and peers will change. His feelings and even his personality will start to change too.
All of these changes happen for one reason. So that he can help to make a baby. Yes, become a dad!
Which means that his body will start producingsex hormones. They have the job of making sure that his body gets ready to make sperm and to be fertile.
So when will things start to happen?
Luckily, puberty doesn’t happen overnight. Which means that your son (and you) will have enough time to get used to everything.
Everyone is different and some boys will start puberty sooner (or later) than their friends will.
For boys, puberty will start anytime between the ages of 9 to 15.
Whoah! I know that sounds young but for the first couple of years, the changes are all hidden inside.
This means that you won’t usually start to see any physical changes to your son’s body until he is 12 to 13 years (+ or – a few years). Two years later than it is for girls.
So what should yoube looking out for?
It is important to remember that for every boy, puberty is a uniqueexperience and that their body will change at different timesto their friends.
So although the timing of puberty can be different for every boy, the sequence of changes are much more predictable. There is a usual pattern of changes that we can expect to see in boys.
Below you will find a rough guide to the changes you can expect and when. Not every boy will follow this pattern, but it will give you an idea of what to expect. Many of the changes during puberty will also overlap each other and may happen over several years. Remember, every boy is different and almost anything can be normal. If concerned, talk to your family doctor.
Some of the first signs that you may see will be:
Growth spurt or they outgrow their shoes almost overnight
Their testicles and scrotum grow bigger
Pubic hair will start to grow
Their penis will grow wider and longer
Their voice will start to change
They can ejaculate semen and may start to have wet dreams
Hair will start to grow in other places like under their arms, more hair on their legs or arms
So when should you start talking?
It’s up to you as to when you start talking to your son about puberty. But the sooner you start talking the better. Ideally, you should be talking to your son specifically about puberty anytime from the age of 9.
This means that you have got a bit of time to get him used to the idea of puberty before his body starts changing on him! Kids who know what to expect during puberty, are usually better equipped to deal with the changes that are happening to them. Which means that they are more likely to find puberty a breeze instead of a hurricane!
So who should be doing the talking?
If you want your son to see puberty as a normal part of growing up, it is helpful if both parents can talk to him about it. This way he knows that he can come to either of you with any questions or concerns that he may have about his changing body.
Some boys are comfortable talking about their changing body with mom, and some boys aren’t. Let your son guide you as to what he is and isn’t comfortable with. If you get the sense that he isn’t comfortable, try to involve a man that he trusts, such as an uncle, an older cousin, or a family friend.
And if you are worried about not knowing enough about boy stuff, like wet dreams and erections, books can be a lifesaver. There are some fantastic puberty books for boys that provide them with all the ‘technical details’ about growing up. You can find recommendations for some fantastic books here.
So what should you be talking about?
Boys need to know what changes will be happening to them. Changes like pubic hair, larger genitals, and a deeper voice. They also need to know that they will start to have a lot more erections, sometimes when it is least expected or wanted. They’ll begin to ejaculate (have semen come out of their penis) and may have wet dreams.
They may also start to masturbate more often or for the first time, as they start to experience sexual feelings and an interest in the opposite (or same) sex. This is the age where sex takes on a new meaning. Puberty rewires the brain to start thinking about sex as something that they will want to do. Don’t forget to talk about what sexual behaviors and attitudes are okay, and not okay, in your family.
Boys also need to know that girls will be going through puberty too. Most of the changes for girls are the same but some, like periods and breasts, are different.
Most importantly, your son needs to know that he is normal. During puberty, there are a lot of changes happening to his body, brain, and emotions that can make him feel different. So make sure he knows that he can always come and talk to you about anything. No matter how embarrassing it might be!
But how do I get started?
‘The talk’ that we might have received as kids ourselves, is no longer the recommended approach for parents. Today it is about having many short conversations about puberty that you keep on repeating. You start off with the basics and slowly keep on adding more details as your son gets older and more interested in the topic.
Kids are usually only interested in learning about stuff that is relevant. So you can tell them that about contraception when they are 10 or 11, but they won’t be interested in the details until it is relevant ie when they are ready to start thinking about having sex themselves.
It is the same for us moms! You probably had no interest in pain relief options during labor until you fell pregnant with your firstborn! And then, all of a sudden, it became a topic that you wanted to learn lots about. Our kids are the same. So you need to talk to your son in an everyday way! You might buy a book on puberty and suggest to him that you read it together that night. You might ask him if he knows anything about puberty. Or if his friends ever talk about puberty amongst themselves.
There are lots of different ways that you can talk to your son and a whole lot of different things to talk about. Try to talk about the changes that are happening now as well as the ones to come.
Just remember, you don’t need to talk to your son about everything. The fact that you are talking to him is much more important than what you say. By talking about puberty, you’re actually letting him know that he can turn to you for support, guidance, and information during this important stage of his life.
Need some extra help?
It is easy to get overwhelmed at the thought of talking about puberty with your son. A lot of parents feel the same way. There is an awful lot of stuff that you can talk about! And where do you start?
The book, Boy Puberty: How to talk about puberty and sex with your tween boy, was written to help parents to get started with talking about puberty. It tells parents everything they need to discuss and how to start talking about it.
Being a mother of 3 boys I can say that disciplining a child to manage their behavior is never easy. There are a lot of things that need to be considered. You can never be their role model if you keep telling them the things they need not do nor the things they need to remember. Surely, they’ll think of you as their wicked fairy-god mother. Remember that your child is a real human being, no matter how young your child is, or how frustrated you may be. If you want your child to respect your authority, then you have to respect the fact that your child is an imperfect human being.
If you want your children to be well-disciplined, then you have to be consistent about your several basic rules. You have to be clear in everything. It’s important to let your child know exactly what you consider good and bad behavior, and what the consequences will be for that bad behavior. If your rules are vague or discussed only when one has been broken, your child will have a hard time following them.
However, do not forget that your kids are not your subordinates nor your prisoners.They follow your rules because they respect you as their mother. And in return, learn to appreciate your child’s struggles, problems, and feelings, and considering why your child might be acting out. Or feel sorry for your child when your child is upset during bad behavior, and wanting to rescue your child from his problem.
No two children are the same, and it’s important to consider who your child really is when you dole out a certain punishment. As your child gets older, you should also update your discipline system to fit a more mature child; on the other hand, you should avoid giving young children the same discipline you would give to an older, more capable child.
Just like how I managed to raise and discipline my 3 boys. It was not easy but it was totally one hell of a roller coaster ride for us. I always make sure that my attention is equally divided among them. Effective discipline is about providing the right guidance and letting your kids live the kind of life they deserve.
Raising a kid is never easy. How much more for 3 boys? Motherhood is a hard journey. But the beauty of motherhood is that you are not alone. There are others who have walked this path before you. And chances are, there’s another mom who’s struggling with the same thing you are.
So, with that in mind, here are a few struggles moms with boys probably experience on a daily basis. As a mom of three boys myself, I can attest to every single one. Keep on fighting the good fight, parents. I see you. The first struggle I had was, there was dirt everywhere regardless how often I tell them to keep everything in place. From the surprise sprinkling during that first diaper change to pulling double duty while potty training our boys, urine is a thorn in the side of every boy mom until, well, forever.
And when it comes to their safety, I assure you nothing comes easy breezy! A lot of boys have no sense of fear when it comes to things like heights and slides, so trying to keep them from trying to fly off of the top of the playground in their cape because they think it makes them magic is actually really stressful.
It was never a question of courage but a mere statement of love when we tend to be overprotective at all times. It’s a healthy challenge to raise someone different than you. To try to relate and understand where they’re coming from sometimes is a very difficult task for any parent, not just moms. Having three boys gets me out of my comfort zone, and out of my head, to embrace a more physical, tactile approach to the world. And notice things I normally wouldn’t. Like the shape of the rocks near the shoreline.
My boys are mischievous and spirited. Curious and carefree. They are energy and wonder and play. They need to move and do instead of just be. They will not sit still and just talk. Or listen. But boy do they know how to live life out loud. They’re good for me. They are my everything – my life.
Do you have any struggles you would like to share with us boy moms?
Hey, I’m Toni and I’m the mama of 3 Little Birds. I love Writing about Parenting, Health, Recipes and Crafts, the life of a Mum and more. Learn more about me here Grab a Tea or Coffee and come see what you find.