How to Have a Happy Marriage

My husband and I met in September 2007. It was love at first sight and we have been together every second since. We decided to get married in 2010. I didn’t realize how hard marriage was going to be. Neither of us did. Marriage is definitely something you have to work at constantly! I think so many marriages fail these days because instead of fighting to stay together, people just give up and take the easy road.

 I know we have only been married a short time. But we have been through a lot in the past 5 years!

What I Have Learned In My 5 Years of Marriage

You are going to have arguments. No matter how much you love each other, you are still going to have fights. Noone can get along 24/7 365 days a year. It just isn’t possible. My husband and I don’t have huge fights, but we do get in arguments every now and then.

Never go to bed angry. Nothing good ever comes from it. If you go to sleep mad you will wake up mad. Resolve whatever the issue is before going to sleep. You will be glad you did when you wake up not wanting to drop kick your husband!

Stock up on Wine. Marriage can be stressful and what better way to relax after an argument than with a big glass of wine.

Make time for each other. We have a 6 year old and sometimes it can be hard to find time for us. We try to do monthly date nights but sometimes we aren’t able to. On those nights we will watch a show together or just lay in bed and talk. Even if your only free time is when the kids are in bed. Make time for your husband.

Communicate. Talk about everything. There isn’t anything that I don’t talk to my husband about and vice versa.

Marry your best friend. Friendship makes you strong enough to make it through the good and bad.

Listen to them. When your husband comes to you with a problem with something you’ve said or done. Listen to him. Don’t bring up old stuff that has nothing to do with the current situation. I am guilty of sometimes trying to take the focus off what I’ve said/done and trying to put it on something my husband has done. It never ends well when you do that.

Intimacy is important. Never stop touching each other. It doesn’t have to be sexual. Just a touch here and there. My husband and I very rarely walk by each other without stopping for a hug, kiss or even just a tap on the butt. You both need to feel wanted. If there is no intimacy your marriage will struggle. Simple moments of connection are important!

Make choices together. You don’t always have to be in control. Talk it out, get and give opinions. Giving him a “man cave” doesn’t make up for him having no control on anything else in the house. You both live there, it should feel like home to both of you. 

Let your husband help with your child(ren).  He should get just as much say as you do. Unless he’s abusing the kids, let him do things his way. It doesn’t mean it’s wrong, it’s just different from what you do. Give him some space to be a Dad. Nothing squashes a man quicker than degrading his parenting. (And the same goes for the husband doing that to the wife). You’re in the parenting thing together and you’ll both have things you bring to the table. If you don’t agree with something, talk about it in private, not in front of the kids.

Don’t curse at each other. One of the things I can’t stand is for my husband to cuss at me. It makes me feel horrible. Even if you are in an argument NEVER throw curse words at each other. It hurts!

Like I’ve said marriage is a lot of work but, in the end it is worth every fight and argument. I can’t imagine life without my husband and I will continue to work on our marriage every day.

How long have you been married? Do you have any tips to share with us on how you keep your marriage strong? We would love for you to share with us in the comments.

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Southern Carolina Family