When raising boys, we teach them how to walk, talk, play, share and learn. As boys get older we teach them manners, how to respect not only people but women and how they should be treated, how important school and homework is, chores around the house, as well as the big talk about sex and puberty. However, let’s not forget to teach our boys how to be confident.
Confidence and self-esteem should be taught and learned at home first, so as his parent it is up to you to make sure he knows he can feel good about himself. This, in turn, teaches your son, to be honest, kind to others, loyal to you and everyone he encounters in life. Here are some tips for raising a confident boy.
Why Self-Confidence is so Important
It’s important for you to know and understand why it is so essential to raise a son who is more confident. Parents will need to constantly help him build his up his confidence throughout different stages of his life.
He will be happier. It’s plain and simple that confident boys are happier boys. We teach them to feel good about themselves, their accomplishments through life, which makes them happy children. This is all parents want in their child’s life. You want him to enjoy being himself.
It raises his self-worth – Teaching your son to build his self-worth gives him great self-esteem and makes him feel his life has value.
He will have less social anxiety – Children often suffer from social anxiety because they feel they aren’t good enough or others are better than them. If your son has confidence in himself and his accomplishments, his social anxiety won’t be as bad.
Your son will have motivation – Your son will want to be more motivated to learn, try harder and out more effort in all things he does. This comes from his confidence you helped him build.
It starts when they are babies – The method of parenting has changed over the years and parenting is a method of which each person chooses on their own. Babies become attached because it makes them feel secure. This type of attachment can come from parents who often wear their babies, breastfeed immediately and pay attention to their cues. The parent has spent an increased portion of the baby’s life right beside them and when the baby needs them they are there.
If this is something that you aren’t able to do or choose not to do then there are other methods you can try. The more love, time and attention you give to your child during those first few months, the more valued he is going to feel. This early nurturing is important for babies and toddlers because they want to feel the love from their parents. Don’t think you can over cuddle them or spend to much time with them. Often this is referred to as spoiling the child too much. There is no such thing when they are young because they want and need that security.
Be a good Role Model – When your son starts to get older, a lot of his self-confidence comes from what he sees and not so much from what he is told. Children are observers and are constantly watching even when you think they are not. They watch their parents, siblings, and anyone they see. As a parent, it is up to you to show them that you are confident about yourself.
In life we have moments where we don’t feel confident in our appearance, we could have tried harder or just made a mistake. It’s okay to let your son see that you could’ve done things differently, don’t focus on them. Don’t mention you don’t like your appearance, or you are upset that you did something wrong. This teaches your son that he should feel this way about a failure in his life.
Find a good balance of Praise – More often than not we look for the negativity instead of focusing on the positivity we have in our life. Take the chance and offer your son your praise for the things he does well in. Giving to much praise can sometimes keep him from trying harder because it might set the bar too low. Giving too much praise on his failures can also discourage him even more. Boys need to understand that mistakes happen.
For example; He has a project or learning to write and his first attempt is not perfect. Here is the chance where you praise him for his best efforts. If you tell him he did an awesome job, then he believes that is the best he can do.
Teach him the Importance to try again – This is very important because as I mentioned above we praised him for his efforts but we also must teach him the importance to try again. This teaches him you were proud of his efforts and he knows that what you really want is for him to try harder, because you know he can and this lets him know he can as well.
Let Your Son Take Some Risk – Raising boys with confidence means you let him try new things. Even though we don’t know how it will turn out, it’s our job to encourage him to try anyways. If your son is good at one thing it does not necessarily mean he isn’t good at something else. Part of building your son’s confidence is showing him he can do different things. You have to give him a chance to try different things and see what makes him feel good about himself.
This is often for us parents to do because we don’t want to see our children fail. We want them to excel in everything they do. There are times when it is better for his growth and development to let him figure it out on his own. A great example is your little one spills his drink, don’t rush over ready to wipe it up. Give him a moment to think about what to do. He may want to play in it or he may get something to wipe it up.
Encourage him to do his own thing – Sometimes as parents, we want to keep them with us at all times. As they grow older these are times when he wants to find his own hobbies or things he wants to do. We must let them. It’s all a part of building his confidence because he is able to go out and learn new stuff, figure out what he wants to do.
He may want to try out for a team, find a game wants to try, etc. He doesn’t know if he is good enough because he hasn’t tried. It’s our job to encourage him to out there and find what he loves and explore his abilities.
By doing this he will be happy, motivated and will grow up to be a confident and strong man.
All these tips can help you build your sons confidence so that he can be his own person and be proud of who he is and what he is capable of doing.