Just imagine you and your spouse rolled into three tiny human beings exploring the new world at full speed. These boys have so much energy that I’ve literally have asked them for just an ounce of that to keep up with them. That is what raising three boys is like. Time isn’t slowing down and you can’t get back a moments time. We just have to keep going and just try to keep up.
My oldest and youngest are so much alike some days I can’t stand it. There I said it. Yes, they drive me completely insane. There are days I just want to sit in my room and cry. The arguing and fighting are beyond anything I could have ever dreamed. So what do I do about it?
Literally the other night I broke down and just had enough. I told them two words, “I’m done.” Can you imagine the looks on their faces when I said that? My middle son asked me “what does that mean?” I said to him and his brothers “It means Mom is done arguing and fighting with you three, things are fixing to change around here starting now.” I got choked up saying that because I think all of my emotions had just been building and I was finally done with explaining myself to them and repeating for them to listen and do what I ask of them.
My husband and I literally ask three things of them. Just three. You have got to be thinking wow why can’t they do just those three things? Don’t worry your not the only ones thinking why can’t they do three simple things. The three things we ask of them each and every day is 1. Do your very best in school. 2. Do what we ask of them. 3. Get along with your brothers. Y’all this is the only three things we ask of them.
So why am I sitting here questioning my parenting? Why do I feel like I am failing at being their mother? Here is why? I’ve admitted this to them too because I felt it was time for them to understand why things have been so crazy. It’s because I wasn’t being consistent. I wasn’t following through with those three things. Since school started I was finding myself fighting with them to get their homework done, to read a book, to help around the house. Even during the summer months they watched TV, played in the pool, played outside, visited their grandparents, played their video games, we took them on vacation. All things we are supposed to let them do they did it. But I was still fighting with them constantly. From the time the sun comes up till the sun down and the other day I just finally had enough.
Do you ever just scroll through Facebook or read a blog where their family seems so “normal“? I’ve asked my husband and he has asked me the same thing for the past 7 or 8 years what are we doing wrong? It is easier to give into them, rather than deal with them sometimes. I told them and I am not sure I should’ve but I told them lately being their mom was no fun. I don’t enjoy getting on to them all the time, the constant fighting, repeating myself, begging them to help me around the house, study for the tests they have coming up, read their AR books, be nice to your brothers. I am a broken record and my record is worn out and doesn’t play anymore.
How am I going to be a mom to these three boys and raise them to be men one day? We started with different rules.
We’re starting over from scratch.
1. They will be told one time to do something and that is all. No more calling their names 4 or 5 times.
2. They will get along with their brothers because they love each other. That is what God expects them to do.
3. If they don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
4. Ask each other for help when needed.
5. They are to worry about themselves and not what their brother is doing wrong.
6. Manners will be used at all times. Including table manners.
We’ve taken everything away from them that we can. They won’t be getting any video games, friends over, playtime outside, visiting the grandparents, or buying them anything they want. At least not until we can get across to them that this is what is expected of them at all times, not just a day or a week but always the life around our house was going to be different.
All of this sounds so easy and we can’t figure out why they won’t just do it. I will keep everyone posted on how things are going. We are on day two right now and a little reminding has been had but we know things won’t change overnight but over time and that is what we are giving them time.
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